Atalanta Pendragonne

And here I thought I'd have a couple of weeks to relax

2009-11-27T18:56:27Z

In the mail (I only check my mail every couple of days, I checked it last night) I got 1) a notice of an inspection on the 8th and 2) paperwork to fill out because Social Security is reviewing my Disability.

It's too damn much. Why the hell are they doing inspections NOW? And I know they do periodic reviews of SSDI cases, but god, the TIMING!

Oh look, it's a holiday tradition.

2009-11-26T13:06:20Z

Happy Thanksgiving, USAians. Happy Thursday, rest of the world.

Stuff

2009-11-25T02:34:48Z

Okay, important thing first. There's a bill to outlaw mail order sales of tobacco in the US. Cigars will be the only exemption. This effects me personally, of course, because I buy my shisha mailorder as much for variety as for price. I know it's only an online petition, but would some of you consider signing this? I'm sure many if not most of you are nonsmokers, but I see it as a personal freedom issue.

Went out with doombuggie last night. He convinced me to check out this new bar downtown. Too loud for my comfort level, but not as bad as most clubs, and it wasn't even remotely crowded so that wasn't so bad, and we didn't stay very long. After that he took me to HEB so I could make a much-needed grocery run. It wasn't pleasant; it was late enough that the restockers were out, clogging up the aisles, but close enough to Thanksgiving that it was still crowded, even at 11. I was so glad to get out of there! We dropped my stuff off and went to Epoch, because doombuggie had plans to meet up with a friend and Epoch's cool anyway. I mostly just zoned out while they talked. doombuggie was concerned about me looking like I was falling asleep in my seat! I was fine, though, just sort of inert. Conked pretty hard when I got home, though. It was a pretty good night.

Had a good experience with complex maintenance. The latch on my screen door has been sticking and last night I pretty much had to break out, so this morning I called maintenance (which is dispatched from a central office, you don't call the complex you're in). Guy showed up this afternoon; I'd met him briefly once or twice. Friendly, polite, competent. We chatted a little while he fixed the latch and he complimented my skull pajamas. No unneeded stress, and my screen door is fixed.

I found out that Hoover's (a restaurant here that I like, good food, decent prices, and mammoth portions) is open on Thanksgiving with a special menu. Sounds really good and, being Hoover's, not prohibitively expensive (and boy would I have leftovers!). But going alone to a restaurant alone on Thanksgiving seems even more depressing than staying home alone. If rehd_fawx was here I'd totally take her; one of their Thanksgiving feasts would be plenty for both of us! It's pretty easy to imagine, really.

Well, maybe I'll go there for Christmas Day, that's not really a personal holiday for me.

And I have sorta plans. I got fixings for a special lunch; mesquite-smoked turkey breast, guacamole, and rye bread for a sandwich, a bottle of melon ramune, some flan for dessert. And doombuggie says he will be bringing me a plate. I don't know what would be worse, though, if my mom calls or if she doesn't. I'll be dosing up on Valium, that's for sure. There's a sick irony in that.

PSA

2009-11-23T23:05:34Z

3 free MP3 dowloads from Amazon.com.

That's any three songs, not just from a limited list, but it's only for a few days.

Because "it goes without saying" isn't a good enough reason not to say it

2009-11-23T17:20:17Z

You're awesome, waywardoctagon. You kick ass in so many ways, and getting into the Company series is only a recent way. It was so much fun being able to finally "Yes! Yes! Totally yes!" with someone over all the Lewis/Joseph-Aziraphale/Crowley parallels, and to snicker atLewis's RPF obsession and probably Twilight fannishness.

I'm looking massively forward to squeeing with you over some of the later stuff. Oh god, Latif in "The Young Master"! Labienus in general in Children of the Company! Much other coolness that I can't even mention yet!

We must recruit more *casts thoughtful gaze at zarla*

Hunh.

2009-11-23T04:03:05Z

One big-ass portion of noodles, meat, and Chinese broccoli at a Thai place = four meals for me. Dinner last night, breakfast today, and dinner today, with enough remaining for either breakfast or lunch tomorrow. goddessgoddess, thank T. again for me, would you? And what was the name of that place? It was yummy.

Thinking of plugging iDoser and drifting off with some aural opium. The annual Coast to Coast JFK special is on tonight, but the prefeed is some bullshit about intelligent design.

Local Radio Fail

2009-11-22T23:20:35Z

How could I forget about KGSR?

It's weird to listen to a local station streaming.

Cat rang bell. I ate food.

2009-11-22T05:39:48Z

Lovely afternoon/evening with goddessgoddess, T., and S. (who turned out to be a cute longhaired fellow in a fetching paisley skirt). We went to Clay Pit for lunch (dodging all the burnt orange turnout on our way downtown); it turned out they have a lunch buffet on Saturdays as well as during the week. That turned out pretty well, they had saag paneer, lamb korma, and vegetable pakora. Stuffed!

After that goddessgoddess made her desire for warbat known, so we went to Sarah's. They're always fun to browse; T. got some rose syrup, goddessgoddess got eight warbat, and I caved and got a packet of honeydew shisha and a little vanilla sugar (which was really cheap!). The lady behind the counter was once more super friendly and chatty, joking about how I got goddessgoddess addicted to warbat and how I should eat more. If I hadn't been so massively stuffed I might have snagged a falafel or two, they're so good there!

Went back to T.'s for lazy-afternooning. There was checking of emails, Facebook, and the like, and it was learned that I cannot use a nipple mouse. There was sharing of warbat. There was cozy napping and the watching of TV, some current shows I didn't recognize, and the first three episodes of Coupling; I had forgotten how deeply I love that show. And how awesome Susan was in the beginning before she got all domesticated.

Eventually dinnertime rolled around. Dinner was chosen with remarkable ease, and we went to a Thai place. I had a Thai iced coffee, which I haven't had in years. S. had one too.Tasty, tasty drinks, those. My entree was a pork and noodle dish, peppery without being actually spicy, that I ate maybe a third of. Yay leftovers! There was also a dessert of some sort that I tried a bite of. Very sweet and sticky. After, Planet K was investigated, and another pipe shop, with discussion of further explorations, but I realized that I was dead on my feet and regretfully said my goodnights.

So now I am doing my night-time catching up, getting loved on by Molly, and discussing the awesomeness that is Discworld with waywardoctagon before collapsing into sleep. With a very full belly.

Turtles!

2009-11-21T17:48:07Z

Little baby A'Tuins, you guys!

It's Saturday, right?

2009-11-21T16:51:12Z

I just finished Unseen Academicals. I love Pepe so very hard.

I have lunch plans with goddessgoddess, T., and their friend S. This is probably a good thing, as my food intake the past few days has consisted of a can of not at all good soup. A meal I can chew would be nice.

Am wearing The Bra That Fits. At present there is only one. I have taken steps to remedy this. It is a front-hook. It kind of has to be. There are eight rows of hooks. Also wearing The Jeans That Fit, courtesy of hcolleen, and a not bad tshirt courtesy of some thrift shop somewhere. Smelly of the day as yet to be decided. I'm thinking Hungry Ghost Moon.

Just sort of blankish

2009-11-20T17:02:56Z

Thankfully I am not tempted by BPAL's Naughty or Nice Inquisition. There are a few scents that sound nice but most don't appeal.

It's rainy and I'm stiff and kind of queasy. more sleep is called for.

Dealt with, for now.

2009-11-19T15:35:01Z

Thanks to doombuggie's indispensable and much appreciated aid yesterday, I was able to get the paperwork I needed. Bright and early this AM I took my quivering self to the office, where the manager made copies of everything to take to the caseworker (she said she was going in this afternoon) and put a "recieved" stamp on all of the originals.

Nothing I can do now until December 18th. My hands continue to shake.

The cats have been doing their job, though. Last night there was some contention between Anya and Molly as to who would curl up on my chest. Being Boss Cat, Molly won of course, and Anya snuggled up at my side.

Still stressing out

2009-11-18T16:07:38Z

doombuggie is helping me get the paperwork I need today. A new copy of my SSDI award letter, a printout of my prescriptions for the last year, and a fucking notarized affadavit that my ex-husband that I haven't seen for the past almost 10 years won't be living with me. Then I have to fucking catch someone in the office to fax it to the caseworker.

I'm losing it. It's like a week from Thanksgiving, which for those of you just joining us is the anniversary of my aunt's suicide. All this jumping through hoops to have a place to live is making me weak and frightened. I'm queasy (wouldn't mind throwing up the slimfast, but I need that Effexor), my back hurts, and I'm constipated. Weighing the benefits of taking a Valium or not; it'd make me a bit calmer, but it might make me less clearheaded as well.

But doombuggie is being fantastic, and goddessgoddess and all my net friends have been supportive, and my cats took turns sitting on me to keep me from getting up before 8.

atalantapendrag @ 2009-11-17T14:56:00

2009-11-17T20:56:53Z

FUCKING HACA>

Fucking bureaucracy. Fucking paperwork.

atalantapendrag @ 2009-11-16T14:08:00

2009-11-16T20:08:21Z

Sorry about the radio silence, guys. Stressed all to hell. Sleeping whenever I can. Have had to be awake today. Feel like 'm going to be sick. Big, stressy meeting tomorrow. This is not good.

Good mail day!

2009-11-12T21:12:19Z

Got a package from the ever-wonderful hcolleen. Several literal spoons (which I actually can use, and one of which is quite lovely) which made me smile and feel all warm and tickled inside. Also three pairs of pants, a pair of black jeans that probably won't fit for a while, an adorable pair of pinstripe pants that almost fit and probably will quite soon, and the pair I am wearing now.

The Old Navy size 18s I am wearing right now.

Size 18, motherfuckers. There's something to be said for this drugged-into-oblivion diet.

Also got the BPAL I ordered before the EMERGENCY MODE went into effect. Pink Snowballs is delicate and lovely, in the bottle at least it is vanilla-with-rose rather than rose-with-vanilla, which will make for a nice change if it stays true on my skin. And Mother Shub's Pfancy Pf-however-you-smell-it is one of those baked good foodies I like so much. Going by the descriptions I was pretty much playing it safe, but unless they turn nasty on my skin I am not disappointed.

And now I can sleep instead of just dozing!

yawnstreeeeetch

2009-11-12T13:22:07Z

doombuggie has started up a Facebook group petitioning for the soldiers injured and killed at Fort Hood to be awarded the Purple Heart. If it's your thing, check it out.

Yesterday I stirred out of bed to find out UPS had tried twice to deliver a package - yesterday would be the last attempt, yikes! hcolleen also said she'd sent me something and yep, there was a "tried to deliver" notice in my mailbox. So I set up redelivery on the post office site, and left the front door open (screen latched) to listen for UPS. I left the slip out signed when mid-afternoon doombuggie came by to take me to get my meds, and I thanked him by taking him to Frank. Sadly he was not impressed with his chili cheese dogs but I found the catfish bacon sausage to be yummy indeed. And I got a few cans of soup at Walgreens when I picked up my Effexor. UPS hadn't been yet when I got home, so I chilled/dozed on the futon for a bit until they showed with my clearance footie pajamas. Winters here are not long, but we get a few chilly nights and the insulation in most apartments sucks, so I really needed them. Plus, footie pajamas! With skulls!

Had a CnS in my inbox today, too. According to the PO, the BPAL Yules I ordered right before I found out the crunch was on should come today. So between that and my Mystery Box from hcolleen, it should be a good mail day!

Rewatching my way through Young Hercules, because I'm going to app Discord at hogwarts_hocus. Amazing how much HoYay they got away with on a supposed kids' show. I had forgotten just how blatant it was! Oh, I love my Dead Gay Shows.

Power-up attempted...

2009-11-09T08:36:38Z

I'll try to respond to some comments soon. I've been basically asleep since the concert.

Finally, the account of Thursday night!

2009-11-08T02:18:25Z

Yes, I have more or less slept since getting home from the concert.

Anyway.

Thursday afternoon I had my MHMR appointment, Sucked as usual. I was supposed to see the doctor but they fobbed me off onto a nurse. Grr. But I got home in plenty of time to take a nap before showtime.

Hitting Frank beforehand didn't work out :( Was looking forward to it, too.

But that was not the important part! doombuggie and I chattered on ride there, and I told him this would probably be the most fun I'd had since my RHPS days, and we discussed our mutual RHPS days a bit, and the possibility of investigating the current local cast, preferably with rehd_fawx.

We were early enough to get good parking, which is always nice. We hung around a bit, and then we went up to the merch table, cuz Voltaire was there! doombuggie bought a couple of CDs and had them signed, and I gave him, as I'd hoped to, the bottle ofConjure Oils La Calavera (which he sniffed and seemed to like... he also asked if I was the one who made it, which makes it two for two since Neil Gaiman asked if I wa a Labbie when I gave him a bottle of Shub... now I just need to find a goth icon to give a bottle of Arcana to) and got my copy of OH MY GOTH signed.

[Unknown LJ tag]

Moments after that was taken, I got an unexpected Voltaire-hug! Of the friendly variety, not the creepy one. It was smile-making.

Waiting time. The very loud DJ music, bright spinning flashing lights, and smoke machines were far too much for me, and I mostly huddled up with my eyes closed so I wouldn't burn out.

doombuggie also greatly overestimated my ability to hold a conversation in a noisy club, which is pretty much nil.

Then we had the opening act. Oh lord! He played a keyboard with so much bass that the seat of my metal chair vibrated, which is the best that can be said of him. He had this wannabe-Nick-Cave thing going and sang as if he'd been gargling ground glass and lye, but his speaking voice was normal. He did a few 'oooooo I'm morbid' songs, and then...

"Beth" by Kiss. I thought we had reached the pinnacle, but he followed it with "Chim Chim Chiree" from Mary Poppins. Good thing I'd just hid the restroom or I might have wet myself. If this dude stuck to doing incongrous covers he could be the next Richard Cheese!

And then.

And then.

It was magic, completely magic. The man has astonishing stage presence, just a wonderful personality that shines through.

doombuggie went to do a little more circulation, and during 'BRAINS' a simply adorably pink-haired girl came up to compliment my barrettes. She asked where I got them and I let her know they'd been a Walgreens Halloween item. Poor dear looked so disappointed! Now, the thing about these barrettes... I had them both on one side because the way they were made, if you wear one on each side, one would be upside down. So it was an easy snap decision to pull one out and give it to her. I mean, this was a fifty cent barrette. The gleeful expression was worth much more than that, and she kissed me, too! And it gives each of us a nice little extra memory of an already awesome concert.

As I've said, Voltaire was busily being awesome, doing a lot of his classics and a few new ones. Each one had me enthralled.

And then...

Truly Voltaire is a Messenger of Fate, for he closed with this

I yelled "FUCK THE BACK ROW!" scary loud. And I tried to do a standing ovation, and I fell down.

Stone cold sober, folks. I'm just that cool.

And that is basically how it went.

So bad it's hysterical

2009-11-07T11:40:08Z

Still holding off on the concert report until I get the pics from doombuggie, but this is the opening act.

Yes, this song was performed. There was a cover of "Beth" by Kiss as well.

oh damn

2009-11-07T02:12:19Z

Can't seem to wake up.

Concert account will come when I get pix from doombuggie.

I sleep more.

Just WOW

2009-11-06T08:26:40Z

Concert was epic.

Voltaire is a Messenger of Fate.

More later.

Another "I should be in a better mood" post

2009-11-04T10:02:15Z

A few months ago I began to slide into a depressive episode. The kind that come from inside and not because something happened. I fought it tooth and nail and then that maintenance guy showed up with that questionnare about moving. And I guess I just lost it. I've been a wreck for weeks. doombuggie has been my lifeline. We chat on YM pretty much every day, and it's a rare week we don't hang out at least once.

Thursday I see the doctor. doombuggie suggested asking to have my Effexor dosage doubled, which was in line with my thoughts and will be mentioned. Also I will bring my Eee so I can show him that study about BuSpar ameliorating the sexual side effects of antidepressants, especially in women.

And of coure Thursday night is the Voltaire concert. That I want to go and feel able to is a very good sign; if near-suicidal depression is my current baseline, at least there can be some peaks as well as valleys. I told Jon tonight that if I start blowing off his invites altogether, get me to PES (the psych ER).

I managed not to self-injure, but it was alarming how much I missed the feeling of burning myself with a cigarette. I did chainsmoke shisha with the intention of making myself vomit, but I didn't.

Happier things! I have decided to apply Discord from the Xenaverse at hogwarts_hocus. I made the journal and some icons (I was shocked at how long it took to find good icon pics!) and was gonna work on the app but then I started feeling shitty.

Also, Ben & Jerry's Mission to Marzipan is yummy and fans of almond flavored ice cream should seek it out.

Meet Iris!

2009-11-04T00:11:53Z

So, as posted, I was distraught when Nanshe's vase broke. And one of my wonderful friends gave me the money for a new vase. And the awesome folks at Hookah-Shisha.com pointed me at another vase that would work.

I now have this vase in purple.

So I renamed her Iris, for the color and the mythological associations.

And Fumari's Mint Chocolate Chill is amazing</a>. Wonderful flavor, smooth, good clouds. No head buzz, but that is what Nakhla is for! I'll have to try more of their flavors.

Making myself be brave

2009-11-03T16:25:10Z

Yesterday I emailed a Section 8 apartment locator to ask for a list of complexes so I could start researching them. (No reply yet)

Earlyish this AM I sent a chatty email to an acquiantance I'd like to be better friends with.

A few minutes ago I called Animal Trustees of Austin to see if they had cat muzzles so I could get my super-skittish cat her rabies shot (the guy on the phone said they did).

Just now I called Petticoat Fair to see if they have the size and brand bra I wear, and how much they charged for it (they had it, but it'd be marginally cheaper to mailorder it).

There go my spoons for a while.

And on Thursday I need to explain to my pdoc that I want a medication because it might reduce the sexual side effects of Effexor. JOY. At least I can link him to the study.

I need a nap now.