Well, hopefully I have an apartment lined up but it won't be ready until mid-February, and HACA has to inspect it before I can sign a lease. And the packing-moving-cleaning thing is still a nightmare.

Adult Protective Services didn't do anything for me. Integral Care (I still think of them as MHMR but I should try to remember their new name) moved me to a higher service level, so I'll be seeing a caseworker every week, and he said he'd try to get me in touch with a housing specialist. They put me back on lithium.

The laptop still won't start. I've been spending the bulk of my time sleeping or simulwatching Community with a friend (who doesn't have an LJ that I know of).

I'm hungry... I think it is cheese omelet time.

Sunday, not quite 10:30 am, and I'm drinking lemonade with as much Old Krupnik as I can stand (hint: it's not much... I really should have gotten the Barenjager instead, but then I wouldn't have most of the bottle left after a year and a half!) and watching The Wiz on Amazon Prime.

My three-card of the day: Five of Swords, Nine of Swords, Five of Pentacles. Just... wow.

But I have had a productive morning! I talked to my HACA caseworker and the office at my new complex and figured out what paperwork it was they needed, and I have it, I just need to bring it to the new complex. I will be taking the bus up there to bring it to them on Thursday (since Monday's a holiday). Until then I should have a little breather! And Wednesday is MHMR day >.<

Thinking of making an Unreflected "fanmix". Not sure if I should post it here or on the Unreflected journal though.

I like the original better, but oh, Janis.

Talked to the woman from the new apartment complex, who said they're waiting for my current place to fax them something, and they needed the number for the housing authority (which I gave them). Should probably call current complex office but I think I might be at my limit for now.

Quarter after 9, I've already called about the medical bill (hopefully giving them my Medicaid # will be enough to deal with that) and the new apartment complex (person is supposed to call me back). At this rate Im gonna need a bunch of valium and curled-into-a-ball time by noon :(

The apartment complex didn't call back today. I'll have to call them tomorrow.

I got a bill in the mail from the Austin Regional Clinic, which doesn't make sense since I stayed at Seton Hospital (and already got an invoice from them). Another phone call I'll have to make tomorrow.

Just ordered a pizza, because fuck everything.

The laptop started up tonight, although it's already BSODed once so I don't kid myself that all is well. But I am enjoying while I can, watching streaming videos and being comfortable and all that. Watching ONCE UPON A TIME on Hulu now.

Also, SHERLOCK. Holy balls. Hounds of Baskerville actually upset me a little because dammit, Moff, why don't you give us some Who episodes like that? It felt like a really good Three serial.

I looked at three places. Wound up filling out an application at one. If I get in there, I will be right on the route 1L, and very near several sources of tasty noms and a BoA ATM.

I should know around Tuesday if I'll get the place, and if so it should be ready for me to move in sometime in mid-February.

Meeting up with the apartment locator in about half an hour. *wibble*

Laptop BSODed again and so far NOT starting. Dwesktop being creakier than ever. Can't figure out how to get IRC on my phone. *ALL THE TEARS*

My mother said to me, "call your social worker". IF I HAD A SOCIAL WORKER I WOULD HAVE A MUCH EASIER TIME and I don't even know what they think my life is.

ugggggghhhhh I feel sick and I don't know what to do next

Tried calling the apt locator again, left another message, if she doesn't call me back maybe call a different one?

Can't get anyone on the phone at MHMR to tell me if there is any point to coming in

maybe more sleep should happen

Also, has anyone else watched the new Treasure Island (with Eddie Izzard) because I am having SO MANY FEELINGS

My laptop just BSODed on me and then wouldn't start for like 20 minutes. I know the HD is failing but SWEET SUMMER CHILD, could we just not do this right now?

The Hymn of Breaking Strain

Rudyard Kipling 1935

The careful text-books measure
    (Let all who build beware!)
The load, the shock, the pressure
    Material can bear.
So, when the buckled girder
    Lets down the grinding span,
The blame of loss, or murder,
    Is laid upon the man.
        Not of the Stuff - the Man!

But, in our daily dealing
    With stone and steel, we find
The Gods have no such feeling
    Of justice toward mankind.
To no set gauge they make us, -
    For no laid course prepare -
And presently o'ertake us
    With loads we cannot bear:
        To merciless to bear.

The prudent text-books give it
    In tables at the end -
The stress that shears a rivet
    Or makes a tie-bar bend -
What traffic wrecks macadam -
    What concrete should endure -
But we, poor Sons of Adam,
    Have no such literaure,
        To warn us or make sure!

We hold all Earth to plunder -
    All Time and Space as well -
Too wonder-stale to wonder
    At each new miracle;
Till in the mid-illusion
    Of Godhead 'neath our hand,
Falls multiple confusion
    On all we did or planned -
        The mighty works we planned.

We only of Creation
    (Oh, luckier bridge and rail!)
Abide the twin-damnation -
    To fail and know we fail.
Yet we - by which sole token
    We know we once were Gods -
Take shame in being broken
    However great the odds -
        The Burden or the Odds.

Oh, veiled and secret Power
    Whose paths we seek in vain,
Be with us in our hour
    Of overthrow and pain;
That we - by which sure token
    We know Thy ways are true -
In spite of being broken,
    Because of being broken,
        May rise and build anew.
        Stand up and build anew!